Being Jesus

I have been so busy today but with the most amazing things. i went to a church that feeds homeless today. It was amazing. It was Tara and i and two AIM assaitants and Danny Hess. I met a woman who really needs Jesus. She was an extremely co-dependent woman who was jsut not ready to move past that yet. Her name was Gina. I got to see Jesus in her today. It was fantastic. I love how empowering Christ is. I have no fear of hwo people might react. I find myself fearingso little. I know satan has some power but I am aware that my Jesus is so much bigger and I will be ok. I thinkI want to go back next week, Tara and i are discussing it. But only a small group to many people would really ruin what is being done we think.

Also, I went out for coffee tonight. I met two neat kids who have really been burned by religion. I want to help people like that. I made a really good voncersation out of solittle.I take that back Jesus did.

I talked to Sarah Reach today about just meeting people and getting over ourselves. I told her once i just started seeing people as people who needed to be loved it makes it so much easier. I really want to be Jesus, to see people where they really are. To meet people where they are at. I am intrested to see how it goes.

Also, I have a friendship that is weird and I know that only Jesus knows how to fix it. I am just not sure what to do. The oppurtunity to fix it is not present. Pray that god opens doors. Pray he provides anwsers.

Pray for my time with Jesus to become more clear. Pray for God to provide anwsers.
Also, pray that God provides support. I am deeply lacking in that department.

I wish I could begin to make you understand my life as it is right now. I am the busiest I have ever been in my whole lif. i am in class most of the day andworking on homework a load of the time. I am happy though. In my illness I am happy. In my emptyness I am happy. In my elarning I am happy. In my brokeness i am happy. God is using me, shaping and shifting and molding and changing me.

I had a moment on Saturday where i just felt happy. I felt likeI was where I needed to be, i was happy. I felt liek God had truly placed me here for a reason. I knew I was where i needed to be.
I am learning so much and jsut happy.

I miss OKC a lto though. I have been having a hard time calling home though because everytime I feel like I get off the phone I feel like I have left a piece of my heart behind. I am sorry for my lack of communication. i know this is different than how I sadi i would be but, i never antcipated life being liek this, it is a bit nuts. Pleaseunderstandthat I do truly miss you. Please understand that you hold a very important place in my heart. Please understand that this does notmean I am too busy for you but since I do not ahve a phone right now and am constantly busy it mkes it hard to find the balance i need. I hopr to have it a bit more figured out here in the enar future. call me and leave a message if you need to. Icheck the messages fairly often and call back when i get a chance. I love you though

Talk to me though. Don't forget me. Shoot me e-mails and such. I love that. Keep me up to ddate on what is going on in your life, I like that, I need that.

God remains faithful

Even when I am faithless. All worked out with my new. I am on a few medications to straighten things out. I am so happy and I have not felt this way ina long time. More to come soon but now i need to get ready for class.

Worry

So I have been stressed out a whole bunch lately. There are many things that factor into this butin the large scheme I am scared taht if I have this MRI it is going to say that I am to hurt to complete this program and that I need to go home and have surgery. So I have been having to work through all the emotions that are involved with that in addition to keeping up with school work and getting enough sleep and dealing with doctors on the phone and balancing some form of a social life. (I have never had friend before I moved here who have told me"lets just play it by ear" I think I hate that line as much as I hate "be flexible," "after AIM" and "bummer")

Some good things have come out of this though. I met with Ben Walker yesterday, the AIM counselar, and he told me to make a worry journal. I am only allowed to worry for 30 minutes a day. I must find an alone place and write down all my worries for 30 minutes than I am to pray over them and shut the book and I am not allowed to open it again until the next day for my "worry session." At other points in the day when I catch myself worrying I have to focus on something else that the Lord has blessed me with. I will eventually trainmy mind to only allow myself to think about worrying when I allow myself to. I think this may help. I am going to start this afternoon/eveningish.

I made my first newsletter last night I am really excited to get to mail those out soon. I need e-mail addresses so i can send some of them out that way and save on postage and trees.

I am happy though. I am about to go to the doctor to set up the MRI. I think when the MRI is done and I know something for sure and I have a goal I am working towards that will help me out a lot.

Also I lost my cell phone but we are working on it.

Christ's bond servant,

California...... here we ccccooommmmeee

I am leaving tomorrow morning for cali for aweek. I am more than stoked. I get to spend tomorrow night in wyoming than tuesday in Idaho falls and this Cali for wednesday, thursday, friday, saturday and than I come home Sunday after church. i havevery little idea as to what I will actually be doing there butI do know that god has greatthings in store. I do knowthat I get to spend Thurs. in San Franciso. I am hopin to get to go to china town I think that would be amazing. Be looking forward to some hopefully great pictures.

i miss OC a whole lot. i got a care package fromsome of the mostamazing friends a girl could ask for and insted of doing the normal excited thing i wept. i really began to miss my friends a whole lot. i have been workingthrough those emotions hardcore though.

I hurt my knee way bad last week. I was crutches for two days and now I am on knee braces and I have some pain killers and muscle relaxers. It hurts and I might have to have a MRI when I get back from Cali. Please pray for my knee during this next week of travel and so on.

Well I have a newsletter and a few other very important things to do before I leave in less than 8 hours. Pray for our travel and safety and for the word of God to be heard.