Thursday, January 31, 2008

God is breaking my heart. He is moving me into a place I had never seen myself going. I am moving to Mexico. To Mexico. With the most amazing team a girl could ask for. I am truly blessed. i am broken and blessed.

I am beautifully broken. I am been ripped down and torn apart. I have been shapped and molded. Ht Lord is my rock and my salvation. I am so happy.I am broken and blessed

Wednesday, January 9, 2008


I feel gross and yucky and empty and blah. i feel helpless and confused and in desperate need of something more than what I have been doing. i know where my struggle lies and where it will continue to be. I hate this. I hate feeling like this. NO control. NO answers. NO one to confide in. NO one who understands.

I HATE SATAN!!!!!!!! I hate what he does to me. I hate how he makes me feel insecure and alone and empty. I hate that he knows my weakness and uses them. I hate him and all he is.

Well, this is it. This is the end. Jesus and I are going to fight. We will win. I am protected. I have someone who knows me better and completely and loves me unconditionally. I have someone who hold me tight and will never let me go. I have someone who has a plan mapped out for me and a desire for who i can be and i want to be on that path.

I LOVE JESUS!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I love who i can be in Him. I love who He allows me to be. I am waiting for Him. MY Prince, my beloved. My Savior. My God.

I choose to make him Lord of today. I choose to make Him Lord of now and my future.


Thank you Jesus. Thank you for you unconditional love.

Friday, January 4, 2008

I have no motivation. i am exhausted and tired. Weddings are tiring. I am not sure what i think anymore. I have had so much on my plate recently. I think i have emptied it all out. why do I do these things. why do I stay so busy. Why do I allow myself to over busy myself and make such little time for a God? I know the importance and value of prayer and bible reading and time with God yet i still constantly fight what H desires for me. I need some good Jesus time. i need o go spend some time at a coffee shop with no one else. I might hit up the library at school or go find a place where no one else is. I want bible study with someone. I want an impromptu praise and worship time.

I have been good thus far. I have broke no rules or messed this up. I for some reason was under the impression that this would be enough. Not doing the wrong thing does not surpass doing the right thing. I need to o the right thing. I need to do the best thing. i am gonna do better.

Clean Slate '08.... yea thats good but I like New Sate '08