In honor of Todd

If I could sit down with five different, deceased people and eat dinner with them and pick their brain who would it be.

1.) Jesus (of course)
2.) Paul the apostle (find out really what that thorn in his flesh was.)
3.) Martian Luther King Jr.
4.) Jim Elliot
5.) C.S. Lewis

I think that will do. It might change someday.

back where i came from

So I am back at OC. It is a whole new world now. i didn't believe people, but they were right. I never realized how un-Christ focused i was and still tend to be. I miss prayer nights and Nooma videos. It has only been a few days. I want late night singing and talks about class. I want to talk less about people and more about Jesus. This is bad. I am bad. I need Jesus more than I. Is it possible to be the Christian I want to be while I am home. Can this girl that I desire to be co-exist in the world she used to live in. People know me different. Am i really so delusional that I thought everything would just fall right back into place......

although that is how I felt a few days ago I think I may be feeling a bit better now. IT took a few days for me to feel like it was home. Not that all is well or that I believe all is perfect but, it is getting better. Falling back into the role of Jennie here is weird.

I learned a lot since I have been home. I have little dedication and self motivation. I am a sinner. i am a struggler. I am a Christian and a disciple and a lover of Jesus. I am a tryer, I am a failure. I am a succeeder. I am Jennie bu hoping to someday discover my new name.

Why me and not you?

So I went to a Reformed Jewish Synagogue last night. It was extremely educational and I learned so much about where I had come from and the history behind the church. I ended up at a kids barmitzfah (sp) which ended up being a bit of an experience in and of its self. I am so happy to know how blessed I am. I was raised knowing about Jesus and how fantastic it is that God sent His son. I know that under the Law I deserved death but, Jesus has come to bring life and forgiveness and freedom. It was hard for me though to be there and to see all these people who believe in my god but, are missing out on life in Him. It mad me want to just run up and scream out all the blessings and joy that you can receive in Christ and in the grace that He offers. It want to go back. I want to make relationships. I want them to see Jesus in me. I want them to understand. I want to create friendships. Please pray that God does what He does best and just open doors to allow for some talks about Christ.

Also please pray for my knee. It still hurts real bad. I have been having to pop it a lot again and it feels like the cap is pulling away. So pray for healing without medication if possible.

"Daddy, thank you for being the God of the past, present and future. I want to serve you and be you, Let your love show through me so I can help in the advancement of your Kingdom. Thank you for loving me and for sending Jesus as my sacrifice that I can spend eternity with you. I love you."