SO I almost have enough money for the Mac. I am like less than $100 short but I still do not have what I need for the retreat. I am really hoping to go up to Guadalajara early to see the Thornton's but it is going to cost me a little extra and I am not sure I can afford that. I really miss them and it would be really nice spend a little bit of time with them before they get bombarded by everyone else. They want to take me to the zoo. I might get to go to the zoo with my family!!! I really miss Eli and Julia.

I talked to my mom last night. It was horrible. We see things so differently. I fear I will never make her happy. I fear that she will never view me a someone who should call them self a Christan. I am always saying or acting the wrong way and she always views me as worse than I am. I am trying really hard to not exaggerate the situation. I jut left it feeling really crappy. I think we came to a good conclusion though. I told her that when i want her advice I am going to ask for it. But otherwise just listen to my story. Sometimes I need to fail on my own let me live and learn. I am 21 and I am trying really hard to be right before God but, I feel like she never sees that. I don't know. I love her and I really miss her and as I write this I am incapable of not crying. I miss her and Blair so much. I hat being a big sister who has no part n her little brothers life. Being so far away from him as he grows up is killing me. I just wish I could see him.

I am still working on flight stuff.... well my dad his. He has been really helpful these past few weeks with working on getting me home and helping me raise money for the computer. I don't have the heart to talk to him about the money for the retreat. So, we will see what God will do through other peoples help.

I miss Michelle. I really miss here. I hope to get to see her in the nearish future.

I am going to an August Burns Red concert in December. Ben told us that the someone could go if we all went. So i am going. Not that I am not excited but... dear gosh I am so poor.

007 was really good. I liked it a lot. I think i might be becoming a James Bond fan.

Twilight comes out on Friday and I think that Ashley might come down to see it with me. GIRLS NIGHT!!!!!

So life is crazy and I think I might just be a wreck. With time.

We are hoping to start working at this place called Casa Tatic(sp) it is a school that teaches street kids basic things of importance. Like brushing there teeth, washing there hands and things like that. I am hoping to go and teach some music and maybe some English and waterfowls they want. I am so excited. I am hoping to work with the toddler group but I would e happy with anything. I love children and I really miss working with them. so, this is just what I have been wanting. also we are still hoping to go look at that orphanage.

Ben is coming back today. I am ready to have him hee for a few days. We miss him. It will be ncie to have him around for a bit and to get to spend time with him. This week has been beyond uneventful. My computer is broken now and I I am really working on raising money to get a new one.

I miss you. iF you are reading this you are probably someone I miss. I have found myself very nostaligic recently. I keep remmeberng random things i did with random peple and getting sad. But i know God is in control and this too shall pass.

I have been hanging out with this girl named Gabby a whole lot and she is stinking awesome. It is nice to have a new friend. I get to see Jason and Heather and the kids in like a week and a half, YAY.

Working on flight stuff to go home in January lets just hope it workds out alright.

I think my team is going to help me get to the retreat, they are prettty awesome. I am blessed and lucky.

We are getting a new vonage box tonight. I am hopong to be in the phone world soonly.