still here

I finally got a good night sleep. i think I slept about 11 hours. I needed that so bad. Since we found out Sarah was leaving I have been sleeping horribly but, last night by the time we got home I way having trouble keeping my eyes open so by 1040, I was out.

Yesterday was good. Went to lunch with the team, went to wal-mart and hung out, went to plaza de cuernavaca and was bored stiff but I got this pina colada strawberry smoothie thing and that was great. Than we went to plaza gallaries and went and saw Se Busca or Wanted in English. Minus some awkward scenes I thought it was cool.

Today we are going to Lagunas Zempuelos for the day. Aidee is taking us with her family and we are going to eat and ride horses and do paddle boats and just have fun with her family. I am stoked. I think afterwards Aidee is going to help us set up some appointments to look for a new apartment.

I think we are going to try to start moving out on Monday. I hope that all goes smoothly. I find myself really stressed out and I hate that. I want to just be OK with all of the change I want to be easygoing and smooth sailing but i am not that girl I am so the girl who thinks out wose case scenarios and gets all flustered and what not, it is bad. I trust though that god will take care of it and of me. I trust that it will all be fine.

Robbie is comin to visit on Monday. She will be here through next sat. morning and than I think the team is going to go spend the day in Mexico City with the AIMers there. I am so stoked.

I miss home a lot lately. I miss friends a lot. I have cried a lot this week.

We are going to the beach in a few weeks. I am so excited. I am just hoping that i don't do something stupid and loose a lot of money instead of actually booking a hotel.

Lastly I AM GOING TO LUBBOCK!!!!!!!!! I am leaving the 1st of Oct. and I am stoked. You should come see me. I will be there for like 6 days. It will be nice to see some people and hopefully we will be able to find some time to sing in English with the AIMers.

Update

SO much is happening. Sarah left two weeks ago this coming Sunday. That was really hard and really sad. I am really starting to miss having here around. In that regard Amanda and I are moving. Next week we are moving into the bungalow of Marco until we can find an apartment or cheap house for the two of us. This is so stinkin stressful but, I will be livin in the same lot as Aidee and that is pretty stinkin cool.

We are almost done with language classes, Just four more days or as I like to say just 16 more hours.

I find myself sad a lot. i find myself missing my friends a lot and wishing I could be there with them as they grow up. I am making new friends and that is way cool, but nonetheless it is hard. I wish I could explain it. i am still very happy with my decision but, it is just rough. I am tired of people trying to make it better or thinking they can help. You can't really help even if you have been on the field it still does not make sense to you. But God is still god and I am still His and in that I find peace.

In my intercambio class we read the first chapter of Genesis. It was really cool. i am hoping to set up a woman's bible study once we finish classes. I want to have it once a week with Aidee maybe Zaida and maybe Alex my student and than maybe the girls Andrew and Amanda have been teaching English to. Who knows. I am just letting go of this place and holding His hand. He seems to know what he is doing.

up and down.

I know people have said this throughout time and i know many people have said it better and more eloquent than this but I am convinced that with almost every good thing that happens in life something bad follows close behind.

This week was really great. Church on Sunday was amazing. I was overwhelmed at just how amazing my church family here is. We did not end up having class because no one showed up. So I played with Coco's niece and talked in the little spanish I knew and we had fun. Than service was intresting but the best part was Aidee came and she brought Alex and John Marc, her youngest two boys. The reason why this is so fantastic is that her husband had decided the kids were not allowed to go to church with her, it is fine if that is what she wants but not the kids. Well, on Sunday John Pier, the husband was taking John Michele, the oldest to play tennis and for some reason it was just easier for the younger two to come with Aidee and they just loved it. I also helped out in the bible hour class which was hard and i think i need a few more weeks in spanish before I do that again.

After service the church through a fiesta for the missionaries. The suprised us with a meal and i was just so impressed. After that Martita's two daughters really wanted us to come over and play. So we did, we played some games outside and got all hot and sweaty and gross and it was fantastic. We are supposed to go back this Sunday for a movie and popcorn.

Monday was mostly typical from what I remember. Tuesday we went to La Fontana, the usual for the team on Tuesdays now but this time Aidee and her whole family came and Zaida. (Zaida is 13 and is quickly become my good friend, she is the daughter of our cleaning lady and she is real fun. We don''t communicate great yet but, God is definitly at work) After lunch Zaide cam over and taught Amanda and I some table games and that was fun.

Well we have friends from D.F. coming in soon so I need to go get ready, but i will hopefully get better about updating.

I don't understand

A very close friend of my spanish teacher passed away today. I hate this for her. I hurt and I have never even met the lady orher familyl. She leaves behind two children and no other family. How do I help? I can not assist that family they live in los cabos. I can help Aidee though. She was so sad today. SHe had to step ou of calss to cry. I want to be jesus. to her. I want to show her God's love.


Anya: Are they gonna cut the body open?
Willow: Oh my god. Would you just... stop talking? Just... shut your mouth. Please.
Anya: What am I doing?
Willow: How can you act like that?
Anya: Am I supposed to be changing my clothes a lot? Is that the helpful thing to do?
Xander: Guys...
Willow: The way you behave.
Anya: Nobody will tell me.
Willow: Because it's not okay for you to be asking these things.
Anya: But I don't understand.
[begins to cry]
Anya: I don't understand how this all happens. How we go through this. I mean, I knew her, and then she's- There's just a body, and I don't understand why she just can't get back in it and not be dead anymore. It's stupid. It's mortal and stupid. And-and Xander's crying and not talking, and-and I was having fruit punch, and I thought, well, Joyce will never have any more fruit punch ever, and she'll never have eggs, or yawn or brush her hair, not ever, and no one will explain to me why.

I know it is cheesy and corny but, this is how I feel sometimes. I don't know what is ok to say or ask. I want to do it right. I want to help.


I know two things and I do neither of them well. I am called to love God and to love others. Well, I love God. and i love Aidee and I love this womann and her family and so I will pray. I understand that God has all the answers and i understand that he can heal the broken and the wounded.

blech

I am felling pretty crummy. my stomach hurts and so does my head. I am exhausted but I have so much I need to do. Pray that God gives me strength and keeps me well. Ireally d not want to be getting ill. i want to be in class learning. I need to be well.

Things here are good and I am starting to feel like I am actually learning the language some but still, it is very hard and i get frusturated often. I know it will be good though.

Friends day yesterday was really good. We had a lot of people, praise God. I knw the Lord is at work here and this makes me so happy. I am working with one of the men at the lavandaria on Wend.to teach him to sing in english. Hopefully that will open some amazing doors.

Also... be praying about Ashley Rector.

God bless till next time.

Loving this place

I have really not cried a whole lot since I have been here. I have been soaking everything in and jsut letting it all become real. Culture shock is a very intresting thing. It does reallly bizarre things to people. I have really been fighting through ti myself. i have been adjuting to my team and how to "live"with them on a consistant basia.i am happy though.

My team had a meeting on Monday night. We talked about a lot and i got to address a few things that were bothering me. I needed that. Afterwards I talked with Andrew for awhile and I cried for a long time. I do not understand love. I do not understanding how you can truly know a persons faults a love them in ptie of them. Weh I do understand is that he does. he loves me unconditionaly and for that I am forever greatful.

These past weeks have shown very eventful. I could have never known what to expect on this field but, this i do know. God is in control. Supoort has been working out for my whole team. Thank you God. My spirit is high and I am so greatful Fo my God and His unfailing love and commitment to me even when I struggle on remaining commited.

I know my thoughts are jumbled but, there is just so much; so sorry. maybe it will be better next time.

I am so tired of it. I am tired of being a grown-up. I am struggling trying to take care of me. I am tired of being rational and logical. Things are being fixed but, it is taking time. I want to be able to express everything on my mind but, I know that is not always the smartest idea.

The Lord is teaching me so much about myself and I am having a hard time learning it all. I want to be like jesus. I am struggling to know though how He dealt with conflict and frustion.

Did Jesus get annoyed and irrated with people? I mean did they just wear on Him? Did He have to seperate himself. I just want to know how He handled being with the same 12 people all the time. i don't know.