I am here and I am exhausted

Yesterday was my birthday... I am now 21. This is no different than 20. I am glad yesterday is done though. I felt so crummy most of the day and felt so bad becuase I know that people could tell. Everyone was so great but there was too much else on my mind. I couldn't seem to be fun birthday girl.

I don't know. My eyes hurt, my brain hurts, my stomach hurts. It has been a long week.

Mexico

I live here now, it's crazy. I love it here. It is so beautiful. Our house is huge and it is great. U s three girls have a four bedroom, 4 1/2 bathroom, a living room, kitchen, patio, two balconies and the rooftop which will eventually serve as the third balcony, home. Our landlord is so nice and really worked on us feeling like this home is our home. We are very happy with it.

the church we are working with is so great. the people are very nice and have really made us feel welcome, well I mean from what i understand so far.

We start language classes in a week and a day. I am scared, i have never tried to learn a foreign language before, so I am praying that I pick it up rather easily.

I am so tired though, this past week has been very busy. I will give a real and good post either tonight or tpmorrow.

And Breath... Just Breath

time moves by around me so fast. It is beyond my understanding how life can happen this way. I was looking at my blog and my personal information is: "who would have ever thought it was going to end and begin like this."

It has got me thinking though. The ending of Lubbock time and the beginning of Mexico time. I move in 22 days. This is the most bizarre thing. The stuff I learned while I was away will forever change me. The friendships that were created in Lubbock and the lost ones from OC. I was stretched and pulled and molded. God has changed me. i see the world different now. I am having to just step back and breath. I have to remember that God is in control. i am having to trust.

the talk the other night helped so much. I need someone to listen to me and to hear me out. Someone who isn't so busy with life that they are too busy for me.

I have no idea what is ahead and to say that I am not afraid would be a lie. I know this though. the one who has brought me this far, even when I am pushing and pulling in the opposite direction, knew what He was doing than and He knows what He is doing now. I am learning what it means to trust, unconditionally. I am learning what it means to be a true women of faith. i am so grateful for God and who He chooses to be in my life. I know it is going to be great.

new steps and new things. Saying goodbye and hello. who would have ever thought that it would end and begin like this? I must say, I am so grateful it did.

fingers in splint, cannot type for awhile.

packing again

my lubbock time is over. wow it flew by, everyone said it would butI guess it never fully clicked with me. This last week was a rough one. goodbyes were painful. I hurt some people andended some friendships. god is faithful and is in complete contrl. i smile because of who i get to be in my Savior.

small group ended up being well but not what I truly wanted.

SO... i am flippin exhausted. I worked my butt off this week. We had finals and what not this week and finished classes for AIM on Wednesday. My team had cultural breakfast this past morning. It was so great but tiring.

These next few weeks are going to be so busy with camp adventure. We will than travel to Arlington and than to Tulsa and to who knows where for a week and than back here for like a week and a half. I am so Happy on one end and than broken completely on the other end. I don't even know.

I think I will will just be to busy to process it all yet, but God will figure it out for me I guess.

Too short

I went back to OKC this weekend. I got to go back for spring sing. It was really good for me to get to go back and see people. it was hard though. i didn't know how emotionally wearing goodbye could be. For some reason i did not even want to be too near you. I did not want to even want to do the hello because I knew the goodbye would be coming way too soon. I didn't want to let go again. i think I freaked out some people but whatever. he weekend was so good for me.

It was really good to talk to Michael and Jaime. How faithful God always is and how nice it is to have that truth.

Its hard right now. Team stuff is very hard right now. Investing is difficult. I missed almost all of my afternoon clasess today because of talking with Kris, Chris Jo and Ben. I think it is going to work out though. I have so much to do this week. Good thing every other day this week is a half day that should help. Just a week and a half more of classes. Oh how nice.

Pray for me please. Pray for God to show me what is right and what is best. pray that He intervenes right now because We greatly need that. Pray for my boys as they discover their role on the team and what it means to lead. Pray for the girls as we grow in loving each other and encouraging the boys into their role. Pray for me to be more loving and supportive.

I am teaching small group tomorrow night but that is for a whole nother entry so till next time.